We have a tendency to think ‘Why should I do something for someone else’ or ‘I like doing things for others but I can’t accept favours myself’. But both point to a discomfort with self. Some of these tendencies are from this life, some from others, but all are artificial. So what is the solution? If you tell me drop me to BKC so that I can take an auto to Ghatkopar, then I have no choice now but go through the traffic and drop you to Ghatkopar. Whatever the body-brain system tells you to do, you HAVE to do the opposite of that. You have no option. People say, ‘I won’t do this till the day I die’. I say, ‘As long as you don’t do it, you won’t die.’ Do that which gives you discomfort.
Sulking is really about expectation, that I should be treated in this manner and people sulk to punish others by inflicting pain on themselves. We try to put the blame on others. But the others don’t feel anything and we feel worse about this and life becomes difficult. And you become so hard and arrogant. When the world is not bothered, I say, see, I was right. And we burn from the inside. But some people who are near to us, they give us some attention.
Now the hidden purpose of this burning is that very moment, you have an opportunity to burn all patterns and take that step forward to be free. And in one moment, the whole thing can change. We must develop the ability to laugh at ourselves. But burning is not a problem that needs a solution. We always think we have to get better. It is staged like that to bring out the real thing and the ability to laugh at yourself.
That hurt is caused because of concepts. We know inside that nobody hurt us, we just want attention. But we can’t let it go.
Laugh at yourself. At first it won’t happen. The hidden purpose of not getting love or attention from the world and you will not get it is because you are meant to be free of it. The hidden purpose is you are not supposed to get attention from outside. And a blessed day will come when you won’t want attention from the outside, just from yourself.
Everyone has a lot of pride. But if somebody else has more or is being nice to you, it goes away. Real pride is when somebody compliments you but you still get upset because of a sense of justice. And you want to know: Why is he talking to me like that?
Pride is ego strongly soaked in integrity. But we don’t even want integrity. It will get you to that point, but even that has to be dropped.The point is to become whole. Drop the integrity but with that, we go towards love. Integrity is when we are adhering to one set of principles we have. But it shouldn’t matter if I kill or am killed. I should welcome both with a smile. When the Pandavas lost the game of dice and the vastraharan happened – the Pandavas could have vanquished the Kauravas right there but they knew that the humiliation had to be gone through. It has to be worked out consciously. That is the integrity I talk about.