Paralyzing fear is because… you tell me, if I’m paralyzed, what happens?
U: You can’t move.
D: You can’t move. It’s all in these three words. Paralysis means can’t move. I didn’t see it all these years. I saw it in the car today. This fear paralysis i.e. should I go here or there, should I do this or that… but don’t forget that chain we were on earlier, I’m just taking a break because I’ll forget this otherwise…
Now, fear paralysis. As I’ve told you before, that inside every thing, there’s something hidden. And I spoke about fear and the way it creates awareness.
But you see, there is one more thing. Within fear, when it is gripping, you can’t move, you’re paralyzed, gripping dread. What is the thing hidden in this non-movement now? I’m thinking oh I should go do this. But if I go do this, what new thing will happen? What will it change? Okay, then I’ll do this. But then how will that help? And you reach to the same point, you get stuck, you can’t move. I work out my thoughts and whatever direction I take about what to do with my life, I come to the same conclusion – that what will change? I’ll just get stuck once again.
So what happens? I can’t move. And what happens in non-movement? Stillness. Movement implies the sensation of time and space. And we’re always out. Now if you can really be rooted to the spot in extreme fear, completely and 100% paralyzed, then what will happen is you’ll be thrown back inside to non-movement. That is the purpose of this extreme fear – that I can’t move. And when I mentally do this, I see the absurdity of all action. Because whatever course of action you decide to take on, you’ll come to the absurdity of the whole thing.
But, because your standard or your motive is profit… what you think and the world thinks is – what am I doing? Nothing will happen for me – and you go down into depression. Because, you were looking for a profit. But God has given you depression in the first place, the affinity for depression or self-pity is because… if some other people had to be there, positive, strong-minded, full of energy, thinking they’ll put in action and change their life – these people will keep moving. But I’m saying there’s a hidden thing in everything. So there must be something hidden in this too, in the movement. But your propensity is not movement, it’s stillness. To not move, to be in dread. But those people’s propensity is towards full-speed movement. But in them is the same god that is in you. But your setting is this. Their setting is movement…and what’s hidden in that?
M: They have to circle around and come back..
D: No, it’s like this. If the Rajdhani is moving at 160km/hour and if you want to look at the Rajdhani, Newton’s Law of Motion tells you to do what? To move with it at exactly the same speed. So what will happen to both? Both will remain in inertia, both will remain in movement. So both will seem still. See in your depression, you can’t see the hidden thing in depression. In his speed, he can’t see the hidden thing of speed. For me, I can see both. But that’s now. Earlier, I couldn’t see anything. So, this hidden thing in both is stillness. One is you subtract everything from yourself and come to nothingness. The other is you expand, add so much that you become everything. And everything and nothing is the same thing.
M: Either way you see the absurdity..
D: No, either way, you reach the absolute. The totality of things – everything.
M: Is it also why these IITian types become so spiritual? Because they’ve gone so fast… or like an Einstein.
D: For someone like Einstein, the processing is so fast that you see the absurdity of everything by putting in action. You’re sitting here and seeing the absurdity of everything.
M: But when you were using the example of the train, how is it moving with the person?
D: Same thing. Now what do you want? You are in stillness. To see the train, it has to be still. For him, if the train is still, he won’t be able to see because he’s moving at such speed. What I’m saying is your goal is to see your own life, who am I? One way to get there is to be still. The other way to get there is to be so fast that with that speed you can be at the speed of your real self. When you move at electronic speed, you can see everything. Or you be still and then you can see everything. You can’t be in between, then you can’t see anything. Then you’ll be the middle-class of the world. He’s either here nor there, he’s always in a conflict, always in a struggle. So when you (M) are sitting still and you think you’re depressed and you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel… you see the point is that there’s no light and no tunnel. You are your light and you are your tunnel. It all ends in you.
So the Einsteins will spend their lives putting in action. At the end of a certain period, they’ll see the absurdity of the action. M will sit here and see the absurdity. Now whether you put in the action physically or mentally – and this you should understand because I’ve already told you that whatever we see is only a mental registration anyway.
U: We’ve already been through every experience already, conceptually…
D: So whether she sits here and visualizes, or Einstein goes and lives life, it’s all being registered here. SO you don’t literally have to go and live life – get a job, get married, have children and die, because you’ve all done this millions and millions of times.
As I’ve said before, if you give yourself an injection of conscious, clear daydreaming for five seconds, you’ll go through the entire experience of all life. And you will get that whole pleasure within yourself. In one flash. Unlike Einstein, who invented this and that, and at the end of all that, he was left with the feeling that there’s something else over here. I’m not the one who’s discovering things. And that is what he felt in the end, in his later years. That electricity is there, but how does it come into being. There are laws and there’s somebody who’s created these laws, and I can’t understand who is this, is what he came to in the end.
M: So what about those who are mediocre?
D: The same thing applies for everyone. See, we were talking about two extremes. At extremes, there’s either increased pain or excessive excitement, which we call happiness. Now when you use drugs, your speed goes electronic because you go inside so fast, that drug gives you that simulation within. See, all life is nothing but a simulation. It’s a projection from you.
End of Hidden purpose behind paralyzing fear; back to Drawer of Secrets
So we were talking about secrets, blackmailing, excitement. Now let’s go back to where did that haze you (U) were in come from? When in your school, class, home (sister) and society, when you see somebody and you compare inside, you say I can’t do this, I don’t measure up. There’s always a comparative analysis going on, always. But when did that begin in you? It didn’t begin now. It was already in you before you took birth. That is why you’ve taken birth like this. It’s not about societal conditioning, your mother, sister, your school etc. It is the way you are, from earlier times, before birth…
U: Which was not resolved?
D: So now we’re trying to do what? We’re trying to resolve everything. So all this is perfect ground. What is happening is always perfect. We may think I need a kind of life which is just based on a comparative analysis that we have from within society, nothing else.
M: It’s known territory.
D: Yes, but it works because of the profit motive.
M: No, but lots of people knowingly go into things, knowing very well there’s success and failure. They might see only the bright side and get into it, but nothing is only success…
D: But we are all going by the profit motive, right?
M: But that is what they’re thinking is profit.
D: Yes, but they are pursuing what they think is profit, right? What you are talking about are the results.
M: But isn’t that again dependent on your temperament, your structure. That if you’re positive, you will probably see a profit in something that I might see a loss in.
D: No, you’re not getting the point. Whatever the action, whatever the motive and whatever the understanding of that particular action, no human is going to consciously go into a situation of loss or inflict pain upon himself. Suppose I burn myself, there is no loss motive even there. There’s still a profit motive, which is what? Anger, hitting back at my mother.
To give up myself completely, to negate myself, to dissolve myself is not the inherent property of the human organism. But the inherent property of you is to dissolve. That is why you’re in conflict all the time.
But you have to be clear about a few things first… what you were just saying is talking about the profit motive. All those human things. I’m not here talking about human things at all. That is already there in the whole world. I don’t need me to tell you all that. That every kind of topic has been covered by humans for zillions of years. I’m not trying to create a new understanding of existing stuff. I don’t want to reinvent the wheel. Whatever has been handed down in human civilization on planet earth and besides planet earth is all there and all useless according to me. What will I do adding to that anyway?
We are talking about those things that humans have not been able to understand and those that have understood it, have not talked about it. We are on an exploration of those hidden things. What are those things inside us?
These hidden things are not outside – that we’ll go into space, find life out there etc. We are not concerned with that. All we’re concerned with is what’s hidden inside us?
Because when you converse with yourself, when you’re in a conflict with yourself, it’s a concept taken from planet earth and something you’ve brought with yourself from somewhere else – it’s between these two things that there’s a fight ongoing. Your basic intrinsic nature and what you see outside, the physical conditioning of planet earth – and you’re trying to see how can you get that little bit of happiness that others are getting. You understand this? This is the profit motive – how can I get this happiness too? Whatever it may be. So even if I’m burning myself, you may think he’s harming himself. But I’m punishing my mother. Or I have an ideal – I should have a Telangana state. So I’ll burn myself for the state of Telangana. That I’ve sacrificed myself for the cause. So don’t misunderstand.
So coming back, when we say I can’t do this (in comparison)… and we don’t say this. You (U) haven’t said all this in your childhood. You’ve acted out of resentment, out of anger and out of fear. Fear that I will never be that, this beautiful pretty girl. Anger with yourself that why am I like this?
U: Or why am I not like that?
D: Or being less than. That is the comparison you had inside of you as a part of you, before you were born. That anger turned into resentment over a period of time.
And intrinsically, what you began doing – and you have to look at this carefully.
This is where you get your high from, this is where the woman is being blackmailed. This is where the whole domination-aggression-submission thing is happening. Not to say that the pretty woman isn’t about this same domination-aggression-submission thing. The point is not about this outside prettiness, the point is about the psyche which is inside us – what we are, not what our bodies are.
So when an U is going to be angry, this is the food. This anger, this fear and this resentment is the food. Now she will build upon this, act out in various ways.
Let’s say, act out in a vicious manner. Now every time she’s vicious, the viciousness…. Now on the thermometer, the mercury rises. Now 98 is normal temperature, 104 is high fever. So fear and anger and resentment keeps going between 98 and 100. But when you get the chance in life to be vicious, it goes to 104, it gives you a high within, a pleasure. You feel intoxicated, your system enjoys it, that viciousness.
And there is no… in a person like M, there will be a conflict. In a N and U, there’ll be no conflict. There’s already a justification that been built upon years on a foundation of fear and anger and resentment. And you may show guilt, you may show that you’re sorry in a situation you’re forced to or if you’ve been exposed.
Because the cunningness is so much.
And you will understand that affinity towards planet earth – understand this – the gravitational pull of planet earth… now understand that there’s no good or bad we’re talking about here. In human terms, in moral terms, we are not talking about those things at all.
U: It’s only when we associate these things with our real selves that we feel guilt…
D: And get confused about life and ask what do we do now? That good and bad is about that confusion. What I’m talking about is pure technical things. I’m talking about chemicals. You are taking it as moral and emotional stuff. So fear is a chemical, anger is a chemical. Resentment is the anger chemical becoming sour. Sour anger is resentment. By keeping it inside, it’s become sour. Anger not resolved, suppressed.
When anger is expressed with a motive to hurt, that is viciousness. Intentional hurt is viciousness.
Are you seeing things? Because you’re so much into the world, that you can’t see what I’m talking most of the time. Your perception is according to your system. Whereas I’m talking about something else completely. You’re at the surface level,
I’m talking about several levels down.
This exercise I’ve given you – of looking straight and being able to see everything – this is not just a physical exercise. I can actually see so much in one instant because I’m looking at the core of things. The core is the cause of all the manifestations.
Do you understand? You are now 5ft 6 inches. At one time, you were not this. At one time, you were a cell. Your whole blueprint of life is not in these 5ft 6 inches.
But you base your entire processing of life based upon how you are externally. But you see the human person is not this body which is 5 ft 6, he’s in that cell which cannot be seen by you, your physical eye. You’re in that cell. So whatever you’re doing, it’s coming from your DNA let’s call it because that is the last humans have been able to know.
U: Although even your DNA is still there when you’re dead. It’s that thing you’re referring to that goes away when you die.
D: Yes, it’s that thing but we’ll come back to that some other time. But now, for purposes of communication and understanding, we’ll use the word DNA. Later, we will change the word once understanding develops. Or let’s use the word structure. It’s in your structure, this is you can’t see.
Now when I see you, I don’t see the 5 ft 6 inches, the hair or the pretty face… I see the structure of the person. Otherwise what happens is there’s a comparative analysis always going on between humans. Based upon what? This outside, the physical body, the emotional body and the mental body i.e. how you are carrying yourself, how you speak, how your thoughts are. All of the understanding you have is based on all these three – whatever you can see physically and what you can sense – the vibrations going back and forth – all humans can sense that. That’s the hidden communication going on between humans, the signals that keep on passing, the sexual stuff that goes on all the time between men and women, all the jealousy that goes on between colleagues in the office. Right?
But even in these vibrations, you can’t see the core of the person. Because even in the vibrations of emotions, of mental things, there is the comparative analysis always going on. Because you can’t see your own structure, how can you see somebody else’s structure? But, when you see the core, won’t you see everything? Because the core is made of everything. So when I say I look straight and I can see everything, I can see the person inside. That means I can see everything about the person. Isn’t it logical? When you see the core you’re seeing the whole person.
M: And all you’re projecting outside is your core…
D: But it’s not that you’re projecting what your core is. Some things you’re not even projecting outside. So somebody who has the eye to see, he can see the real thing. So do I need to look at each part of you to see you now? That will be a waste of time. That will be like the Einstein who goes out in movement, in outside space, and then one day realizes it’s useless. That is the purpose of being still. In stillness, you’ll see everything in one instant.